" I love mankind, it's people I can't stand." Linus in Peanuts
Charles Schultz
Did you know that today, January 29, 2013, is National Curmudgeon Day in honor of the birthday of that great American curmudgeon W. C. Fields?
What a great word, curmudgeon. Let it roll around in your mouth before letting it go. Cur mudg eon: definition: bad-tempered; difficult; cantankerous; grumpy; negative; pessimist; surly; an ill tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions. Okay, we get the idea, not a very pleasant sort of fellow. Fellow is the right choice of word since this condition is usually associated with old men.
And yet, could there be a redeeming value to being a curmudgeon? W. C. Fields had a very successful career by being a curmudgeon who used his keen insight to lampoon the societal hypocrisies of his day. Two other curmudgeon hall of famers, the Grinch and Scrooge, also gave us insight into our beliefs and customs.
Curmudgeon has such a craggy complexity to it as opposed to the shiny, silky, smooth surface of the word saint. Since I am the hesitant saint, it should come as no surprise to any of you that I would find the curmudgeon side of the equation far more fascinating. And since they say that confession is good for the soul, I must confess that I have been referred to on occasion as cynical, negative and pessimistic when my views have too vigorously challenged the status quo. Yes moi, quelle horreur!
Wielding the sword of truth is a delicate matter. Used with just the right degree of irony it can cause a slight irritation that brings a sudden release of insight and a burst of laughter. Used with too much intentionality and it causes massive bleeding and brings about recoil and rejection. Point lost; lesson learned. To be effective, use with caution gently.
As with everything in life, there must be a balance. The Tao shows the principle of how everything carried to its extreme changes into its opposite. Life is a continuum, a flow; there is no beginning or ending. Just as we need the saintly part of ourselves so do we need to embrace the curmudgeonly side as well to bring all into balance. To hold too rigidly to either side without the harmonizing other is to become stuck and not a full expression of who we really are. So what better day to get in touch with your inner "butthead," as a good friend of mine has affectionately called his inner curmudgeon, and discover what truth it has for you than today? You may be amazed. I always am and again I must confess, what fun.
To add to today's celebration here is a link to Albert Finney singing "I Hate People" in his Golden Globe winning performance of Scrooge. I always find the lyrics hysterical because they skewer all of us and our self-righteous behavior. So go ahead and have a good laugh today at all of our expense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODjDz_6SWik
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
The Why of the Why
"If we did all the things we were capable of doing we would literally astonish ourselves."
Thomas Alva Edison
If you have been following this blog, you have a general overview of the gist of this journey that we have embarked on. We have covered what needs to be packed and what needs to be left behind. We even have a destination point - extraordinary. All of these are important considerations but they are secondary to the central question of WHY. Why is the most important question that we can ever ask ourselves. The answer lays bare our basic motivation and also provides the degree of passion that we have available to keep going.
"Why" grows out of the larger question of - What do we want? If we could have anything in the world, what would that be? The mind will kick out all sorts of responses to this question from the truly ridiculous to the sublime. It is the "why" that follows that question that serves as the ballast and makes sure that we have enough energy currency to go for it. Make no mistake, any undertaking no matter how large or small comes with a price. Answering our "why" allows us to go to our internal bank account and make sure that we are not frittering away our resources on a fool's folly that will satisfy for the moment but leaves us hungering for more in the long run.
"Why" comes from our hearts, not our minds. Interestingly, scientists have found that the heart has an intelligence all its own. Through its rhythmic beat, it ties us to the larger universe. "The wind and waves carry the same amount of force or 'energy' that the heart is throbbing with on any given day, so the music is the same."* In fact, our glorified brains and their development are "maintained by cytokines."* And you guessed it, these originate in our hearts.
If we want real knowledge and understanding that ties us into the larger cycles of life - wisdom if I may be so presumptuous - then we need to get out of that will-o-wisp of a brain and get down and dirty with our hearts. In this over intellectualized culture of ours, that means that we have to calm the constant chatter of our brains, quell our infatuation with our thoughts and pay attention to that quiet almost stifled voice that arises from within. It is that feeling that emanates from our heart and is verified by our gut. It is the much reviled intuition in this left-brain, scientifically based culture.
If that makes you a little squeamish, that is okay. I won't tell anyone that you are going with your gut. If you pay close attention to any decision that we make and that corporations make, you will find that most of the fact finding and research is done to verify what the emotional answer was anyways. So just dispense with all of the cover-ups and have a heart to heart with your heart. Start with what you think that you want. Ask your heart the "why" that would be a good thing for you and see if you have a match.
"Whats" and "whys" that are heart fueled are passion propelled. They put us in the universal flow. It is like a surfer paddling out and catching the perfect wave and finding him/herself perfectly positioned in the curl of that wave and riding it all the way into shore. It is effortless and requires only being there. The exhileration of that ride creates more energy for the next and the next. Being aligned with our "why" rather than sucking us dry, energizes us. It is the fuel that we can run on indefinitely; because like the constancy of the waves, it is renewable. It is the reason that time will stand still and life will be once again be a joy and not a drudge.
And like the Edison quote says, we will astonish ourselves with what we can do. His passion to find a lightbulb that worked fueled him through 5,000 failures before he found one that worked. The downside is that it also cost him his family and most of his eyesight. Only he could say if it was worth it to him. The point is only a powerful "why" could have kept him at the task in the face of such adversity.
My "why" is the reason that this blog is called "Serving Lemonade/Lemonaid" and not just making lemonade. What good is a pitcher of lemonade if no one drinks it? I get my kicks from sharing the lessons I have learned from my life's lemons. It keeps me going looking for more clues along my life's path so I can find more ways of making and serving lemonade/lemonaid. And my dirty secret is that while I am delighted to serve you lemonade, I would do so even if no one ever read my blog because it brings me joy.
That is what I wish for each of you. Just a three letter word - why - but it spells the difference between renewable joy or blood sucking duty. And it has been there all the time in our hearts. Who knew?
*Lights Out, Sleep, Sugar, and Survival, T. S. Wiley with Bent Formby, Ph.D.
Thomas Alva Edison
If you have been following this blog, you have a general overview of the gist of this journey that we have embarked on. We have covered what needs to be packed and what needs to be left behind. We even have a destination point - extraordinary. All of these are important considerations but they are secondary to the central question of WHY. Why is the most important question that we can ever ask ourselves. The answer lays bare our basic motivation and also provides the degree of passion that we have available to keep going.
"Why" grows out of the larger question of - What do we want? If we could have anything in the world, what would that be? The mind will kick out all sorts of responses to this question from the truly ridiculous to the sublime. It is the "why" that follows that question that serves as the ballast and makes sure that we have enough energy currency to go for it. Make no mistake, any undertaking no matter how large or small comes with a price. Answering our "why" allows us to go to our internal bank account and make sure that we are not frittering away our resources on a fool's folly that will satisfy for the moment but leaves us hungering for more in the long run.
"Why" comes from our hearts, not our minds. Interestingly, scientists have found that the heart has an intelligence all its own. Through its rhythmic beat, it ties us to the larger universe. "The wind and waves carry the same amount of force or 'energy' that the heart is throbbing with on any given day, so the music is the same."* In fact, our glorified brains and their development are "maintained by cytokines."* And you guessed it, these originate in our hearts.
If we want real knowledge and understanding that ties us into the larger cycles of life - wisdom if I may be so presumptuous - then we need to get out of that will-o-wisp of a brain and get down and dirty with our hearts. In this over intellectualized culture of ours, that means that we have to calm the constant chatter of our brains, quell our infatuation with our thoughts and pay attention to that quiet almost stifled voice that arises from within. It is that feeling that emanates from our heart and is verified by our gut. It is the much reviled intuition in this left-brain, scientifically based culture.
If that makes you a little squeamish, that is okay. I won't tell anyone that you are going with your gut. If you pay close attention to any decision that we make and that corporations make, you will find that most of the fact finding and research is done to verify what the emotional answer was anyways. So just dispense with all of the cover-ups and have a heart to heart with your heart. Start with what you think that you want. Ask your heart the "why" that would be a good thing for you and see if you have a match.
"Whats" and "whys" that are heart fueled are passion propelled. They put us in the universal flow. It is like a surfer paddling out and catching the perfect wave and finding him/herself perfectly positioned in the curl of that wave and riding it all the way into shore. It is effortless and requires only being there. The exhileration of that ride creates more energy for the next and the next. Being aligned with our "why" rather than sucking us dry, energizes us. It is the fuel that we can run on indefinitely; because like the constancy of the waves, it is renewable. It is the reason that time will stand still and life will be once again be a joy and not a drudge.
And like the Edison quote says, we will astonish ourselves with what we can do. His passion to find a lightbulb that worked fueled him through 5,000 failures before he found one that worked. The downside is that it also cost him his family and most of his eyesight. Only he could say if it was worth it to him. The point is only a powerful "why" could have kept him at the task in the face of such adversity.
My "why" is the reason that this blog is called "Serving Lemonade/Lemonaid" and not just making lemonade. What good is a pitcher of lemonade if no one drinks it? I get my kicks from sharing the lessons I have learned from my life's lemons. It keeps me going looking for more clues along my life's path so I can find more ways of making and serving lemonade/lemonaid. And my dirty secret is that while I am delighted to serve you lemonade, I would do so even if no one ever read my blog because it brings me joy.
That is what I wish for each of you. Just a three letter word - why - but it spells the difference between renewable joy or blood sucking duty. And it has been there all the time in our hearts. Who knew?
*Lights Out, Sleep, Sugar, and Survival, T. S. Wiley with Bent Formby, Ph.D.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Tips for Following the Yellow Brick Road
"If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders"
Unknown
The journey from ordinary to extraordinary is not your standard trip. It cannot be measured in straight lines or found on a GPS. It may take many years or be done in an instant. The space covered is really just the distance from our hearts to our minds. Because of its unusual nature, it does require careful packing and travelling information.
Pack only those things that make you stronger. Leave all the "have tos," "shoulddas," "can'ts" and "why didn'ts" behind. Blaming and shaming have no place in our backpacks, neither do regrets or doubts or excuses or even wishing and hoping. Absolutely, do not allow defensiveness to creep in. Carefully watch for the "poor me" sneak. I know from experience there is no greater sabotuer of this journey than this whiny sniveling voice. It always reduces me to my lowest common denominator and zaps energy as I indulge in licking my wounds and glorifying my hurts. While so satisfyingly seductive in the short run, it leaves me no further ahead; in fact, self-pity actually causes me to lose ground and weakens me in the long run. So we must be vigilant. Please if I stumble along the way, I am counting on you to not indulge my whining.
Ditch limitations. These are self-constructed boxes that we have trapped ourselves in. Everytime one of these "can'ts" or "that is not the way it is done" or "not enough money, talent, whatevers" raises its ugly head, look it in the eye and ask "who is talking?" Where did that limiting belief come from? And realize that it is just the nonsense in our heads talking and we need to move on with nary a glance backwards. It is imperative that we unburden ourselves of these weights. Their inflexibility causes us to remain fixated to already explored places that have not gotten us any closer to extraordinary. Lugging them with us makes us cumbersome and not able to see new paths and opportunities as they open before us. And open they will and always have but because we were in our box and they fell outside of our status quo, we missed them.
Dust off your dreams bringing them into sharp focus. Carefully place them in a prominent spot in the backpack where you can view them often until they are firmly etched in your mind. These dreams emanate from our hearts but must be carried in our minds. Discipline your mind to see and embrace them until they become more real than your present circumstances. Each of us must pack a good helping of guts, courage, perserverance, humility for the way can be arduous at times requiring all that we can muster to stay the course. While we can encourage each other along the way, in the end it must be our solitary effort that gets us there.
Under no circumstances give way to fear. It will lurk at every corner and hide under every misstep taunting: "what will others think;" "who do you think that you are to be extraordinary;" "you are on a fool's errand;" "just be happy with ordinary;" "you can't do this;" "its too hard;" "extraordinary is not real;" "you are just setting yourself up for failure and disappointment." Fear is wiley letting us think it is on our side by hiding under a healthy dose of caution that can quickly turn to skepticism. Its ploy with me is "to be sensible." I have found that standing on the sidelines looking for proof or safety is just another form of gutlessness. Under no circumstances can we lower our expectations.
Steer clear of all the "yeah butters" - you know the people who upon hearing of your shiny dream say "yeah but" finding fault and questioning your journey and telling you a million reasons why it will not work. Just smile and move on. In fact, I have learned to not even tell others what I am up to - travelling from ordinary to extraordinary. They do not "get it" and it leaves me exhausted in the process and doubting my own sanity. To me it is just another portal for fear to enter. Smiling and moving on is just kinder for all. The closer we get to extraordinary, the subtle changes in us will begin to manifest and people will begin to say - "there is something different about you, did you change your hair?" Just shrug and say "really?" And smile.
To ensure that we maintain equilibrium at all times, we must pack a healthy dose of humor. The ability to laugh at ourselves and at the absurdity of life is the very best medicine. It keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. I usually reserve my heartiest laughter for the times that I have been duped by "poor me" and have caught myself sniveling about something or other that did not quite meet my expectations. Nothing causes that little sneak to scurry away faster than being laughed at.
Look for the "lemons" along the way. Rejoice when they appear for they are the markers that we are not alone as we cut cross country rediscovering who we really are. The "lemons" keep us true to ourselves by dissolving all the misperceptions that we have picked up in our lives. Their bitterness keeps us true to ourselves. Partaking of their bitterness can bring great healing if we do not allow ourselves to wallow here. Grasp the message and move on. Be ever vigilant at these times for "poor me." There is nothing that that sabotuer likes better than biting into that bitterness and allowing it to seep into our souls causing us to believe that the world is against us and we are alone. That great lie reduces us to nothing and makes us go weak .
Next to your dreams pack intentionality - that one mindedness that blinds to all else. It heightens our capacity for concentration and creates unwavering focus. The power inherent in intentionality is that it is one hundred percent under our control. It is a choice, a decision that we make. To make this kind of commitment requires intense motivation to the exclusion of all else and it unleashes in us the capacity for relentless pursuit of our goal. When we marry our will with the potential that lies within each of us and act upon it to effect results our dreams regardless of how large or seemingly impossible begin to manifest. The choice belongs to each one of us. Moving from ordinary to extraordinary is a decision of the will. It is the still small voice within our heart that urges us on. When we finally connect with that certainty and decide to move so does the universe. We are not alone.
Yes, the way to extraordinary is hard because in the process we are getting over our cherished carefully constructed images of ourselves. But to me, why be small when we have the same power within us that holds the stars and moon in their orbits? And who we really are in our hearts makes everything else pale in comparison. We are so much greater than we even know. No time like the present to get started because as Tony Robbins said, "Today is not like yesterday and tomorrow will be different forever."
I've got my hiking boots on, my backpack ready to go and I have made some heavenly trail mix to sustain us on our way. Now if I could just find my sunglasses....
Heavenly Trail Mix
Toss together in any amount and combination those things that make you happy: coconut, nuts - candied or plain, dried fruit, chocolate chips - white or regular or both, any kind of rice Chex cereal, personally I like the chocolate. Shake altogether and put in plastic bag. Enjoy.
Unknown
The journey from ordinary to extraordinary is not your standard trip. It cannot be measured in straight lines or found on a GPS. It may take many years or be done in an instant. The space covered is really just the distance from our hearts to our minds. Because of its unusual nature, it does require careful packing and travelling information.
Pack only those things that make you stronger. Leave all the "have tos," "shoulddas," "can'ts" and "why didn'ts" behind. Blaming and shaming have no place in our backpacks, neither do regrets or doubts or excuses or even wishing and hoping. Absolutely, do not allow defensiveness to creep in. Carefully watch for the "poor me" sneak. I know from experience there is no greater sabotuer of this journey than this whiny sniveling voice. It always reduces me to my lowest common denominator and zaps energy as I indulge in licking my wounds and glorifying my hurts. While so satisfyingly seductive in the short run, it leaves me no further ahead; in fact, self-pity actually causes me to lose ground and weakens me in the long run. So we must be vigilant. Please if I stumble along the way, I am counting on you to not indulge my whining.
Ditch limitations. These are self-constructed boxes that we have trapped ourselves in. Everytime one of these "can'ts" or "that is not the way it is done" or "not enough money, talent, whatevers" raises its ugly head, look it in the eye and ask "who is talking?" Where did that limiting belief come from? And realize that it is just the nonsense in our heads talking and we need to move on with nary a glance backwards. It is imperative that we unburden ourselves of these weights. Their inflexibility causes us to remain fixated to already explored places that have not gotten us any closer to extraordinary. Lugging them with us makes us cumbersome and not able to see new paths and opportunities as they open before us. And open they will and always have but because we were in our box and they fell outside of our status quo, we missed them.
Dust off your dreams bringing them into sharp focus. Carefully place them in a prominent spot in the backpack where you can view them often until they are firmly etched in your mind. These dreams emanate from our hearts but must be carried in our minds. Discipline your mind to see and embrace them until they become more real than your present circumstances. Each of us must pack a good helping of guts, courage, perserverance, humility for the way can be arduous at times requiring all that we can muster to stay the course. While we can encourage each other along the way, in the end it must be our solitary effort that gets us there.
Under no circumstances give way to fear. It will lurk at every corner and hide under every misstep taunting: "what will others think;" "who do you think that you are to be extraordinary;" "you are on a fool's errand;" "just be happy with ordinary;" "you can't do this;" "its too hard;" "extraordinary is not real;" "you are just setting yourself up for failure and disappointment." Fear is wiley letting us think it is on our side by hiding under a healthy dose of caution that can quickly turn to skepticism. Its ploy with me is "to be sensible." I have found that standing on the sidelines looking for proof or safety is just another form of gutlessness. Under no circumstances can we lower our expectations.
Steer clear of all the "yeah butters" - you know the people who upon hearing of your shiny dream say "yeah but" finding fault and questioning your journey and telling you a million reasons why it will not work. Just smile and move on. In fact, I have learned to not even tell others what I am up to - travelling from ordinary to extraordinary. They do not "get it" and it leaves me exhausted in the process and doubting my own sanity. To me it is just another portal for fear to enter. Smiling and moving on is just kinder for all. The closer we get to extraordinary, the subtle changes in us will begin to manifest and people will begin to say - "there is something different about you, did you change your hair?" Just shrug and say "really?" And smile.
To ensure that we maintain equilibrium at all times, we must pack a healthy dose of humor. The ability to laugh at ourselves and at the absurdity of life is the very best medicine. It keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. I usually reserve my heartiest laughter for the times that I have been duped by "poor me" and have caught myself sniveling about something or other that did not quite meet my expectations. Nothing causes that little sneak to scurry away faster than being laughed at.
Look for the "lemons" along the way. Rejoice when they appear for they are the markers that we are not alone as we cut cross country rediscovering who we really are. The "lemons" keep us true to ourselves by dissolving all the misperceptions that we have picked up in our lives. Their bitterness keeps us true to ourselves. Partaking of their bitterness can bring great healing if we do not allow ourselves to wallow here. Grasp the message and move on. Be ever vigilant at these times for "poor me." There is nothing that that sabotuer likes better than biting into that bitterness and allowing it to seep into our souls causing us to believe that the world is against us and we are alone. That great lie reduces us to nothing and makes us go weak .
Next to your dreams pack intentionality - that one mindedness that blinds to all else. It heightens our capacity for concentration and creates unwavering focus. The power inherent in intentionality is that it is one hundred percent under our control. It is a choice, a decision that we make. To make this kind of commitment requires intense motivation to the exclusion of all else and it unleashes in us the capacity for relentless pursuit of our goal. When we marry our will with the potential that lies within each of us and act upon it to effect results our dreams regardless of how large or seemingly impossible begin to manifest. The choice belongs to each one of us. Moving from ordinary to extraordinary is a decision of the will. It is the still small voice within our heart that urges us on. When we finally connect with that certainty and decide to move so does the universe. We are not alone.
Yes, the way to extraordinary is hard because in the process we are getting over our cherished carefully constructed images of ourselves. But to me, why be small when we have the same power within us that holds the stars and moon in their orbits? And who we really are in our hearts makes everything else pale in comparison. We are so much greater than we even know. No time like the present to get started because as Tony Robbins said, "Today is not like yesterday and tomorrow will be different forever."
I've got my hiking boots on, my backpack ready to go and I have made some heavenly trail mix to sustain us on our way. Now if I could just find my sunglasses....
Heavenly Trail Mix
Toss together in any amount and combination those things that make you happy: coconut, nuts - candied or plain, dried fruit, chocolate chips - white or regular or both, any kind of rice Chex cereal, personally I like the chocolate. Shake altogether and put in plastic bag. Enjoy.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Gratitude -The Sweetner of Life
"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough."
Meister Eckhart
As Mary Poppins knew a "spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...in the most delightful way." The refreshing taste of ice cold lemonade on a sweltering summer day provides testimonial to the power of a bit of sweetner to make the bitter palatable. So what is life's sweetner? What can change the bitter to bearable? Gratitude.
According to Psychology Today, "gratitude is an emotion expressing appreciation for what one has - as opposed to say, a consumer-oriented emphasis on what one wants or needs - and is currently receiving a great deal of attention as a facet of positive psychology." Perhaps, mom was right after all when she prompted us to say thank you.
Gratitude is the difference between contentment and "not enough." Do you suffer from "not enoughness?" You know the kind that is a gnawing emptiness inside that wakes you at night because its companion of "if only" has a list of things that if only you had, you would then be able to be _____. We can all fill in the blank.
Never before in the history of this country have Americans been more blessed materially but poorer in well being and spirit. "Not enoughness" is a national epidemic from the titans of Wall Street to the post Thanksgiving shoppers who will trample anyone who stands in their way to acquire whatever happens to be the golden goose of happiness that holiday season. SERIOUSLY?!?.
Collectively and individually, we need to get a grip. Like how much is enough? How much do we really need? When is too much too much? Our satiation button is all out of whack. Truly, the correct term for all of this "not enoughness" is greed and wasn't that one of the seven deadly sins? Or it could even be attributed to greed's companion, gluttony, yet another deadly sin. Just in case we need some numbers to verify these statements according to a new report by the Institute of Mechanical Engineers, we toss 1.2 billion tons of food a year - about 50% of the world's total production.* Still think that America doesn't have an overconsumption problem tinged with ingratitude?
Don't think for a minute that I have somehow managed to escape from this race to the finish for who has the most stuff or who can hoard the most or stuff and store the most. Remember, I am the hesitant saint and a hard learner. When my life's pillow case split from "too muchness," one of the effects was having to downsize. Having to personally deal with the stuff of 40 years of marriage and 16 years in that oversized house has humbled me. I expect no sympathy. Following the American dream, I did it to myself. Like - what is there to say to a woman who has found it necessary to acquire 32 pairs of boots? Really?? To borrow another of my daughter's expressions: "did I really take my role in life seriously?"
Being forced to downsize while initially a bitter "lemon" has turned out to be a much needed tonic. All of my life's accumulated treasures have had to be put in storage pods as the downsized house is not ready to move into. Alas, I have had to "make do" with much less than I ever thought that I possibily could. This has been a great blessing and has made me more grateful for what I do have. Instead of diminishing my life, because I have less, I am free of the burden of it. I do have one recurring nightmare of what will happen when the plug is pulled on the storage pods and the avalanche of stuff crushes in on me. It will be at that point that I will cry for mercy. Until then, I shall continue to practice gratitude.
Practice gratitude is really an excellent choice of words because as the Psychology Today article states, gratitude is a quality that can be acquired. Our voracious appetites have been fueled by advertising and the media. However, we are still in control. We just need to back off of that pedal of acquisition careening towards complete non-sustainability and practice gratitude instead. Some side benefits to practicing gratitude include a greater sense of well-being and happiness. Just as lemons can cleanse our palates between courses, so can gratitude cleanse away that tight feeling of "not enoughness" that eats away at us.
So let's make a travelling pact and double dog dare each other to tell as many people as we sincerely can today thank you and to stop for at least a moment and truly appreciate what we do have instead of focusing on "if only." If nothing else, it will make our mothers proud. Instead of a recipe today being true to our pact, I am saying thanks to all of those who have gotten me on line - my two bros, who are tech smart and all around good guys, to my husband and mother - my dutiful readers - and to those of you who have given me the gift of your time in reading my blog. Gratitude really does work; I feel better already.
Thank You.
* Time Magazine, January 28, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
The Lemon Paradox
Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet but the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat......
Peter, Paul and Mary
At first puckering taste the fruit of the poor lemon may seem to be impossible to eat just as the unplanned disappointments of life may seem to be impossible to swallow. Add a little sugar and the lemon becomes the spark to enliven not just the refreshing ade but many a dish from soups to main courses like lemon chicken to desserts (I'm thinking lemon bars.*) It's acidity is nutritional, as well as cleansing and flavor enhancing. In addition to its culinary benefits, the lemon is also a good antimicrobial agent. So how did such a useful fruit get such a bad rap and become associated with less than desirable outcomes and defective goods? Perhaps like many of life's experiences because it did not meet initial expectations, it was tossed off as not quite up to snuff. It takes a more in depth understanding of its virtues and a little tweaking to see its gifts.
We write the scripts of our lives continually, envisioning how events need to play out so that we can be happy, successful, healthy, accepted.... And when life hands us a lemon instead of our created script, we pucker up in distaste and reject out of hand the disappointment as a bad thing. So you didn't get that job promotion or raise like you were expecting, the doctor didn't have the news you wanted to hear, your significant other leaves, you lose your house? None of these are pleasant or desired chapters in our ongoing life scripts and certainly not something we would ever put in our life plans. BUT, they offer us something of far greater value than the perceived gap in our carefully planned script. They offer us the chance to grow up and get over ourselves. What a terrible burden to be enslaved by our carefully groomed self-importance day in and day out. It takes tremendous energy to keep it going. "Lemons" give us a chance to cleanse our palates from ourselves and see life from a different perspective than our pre-crafted one. We are very limited in our understanding and vision. "Lemons" bring us up short and make us take stock of where we are and where we think we want to go. They also give us a chance to see what kind of "cooks" we really are. How skilled are we in being able to make the lemon palatable? How creative and nimble are we to be able to detect the nuance of flavor opportunities amid the sharp jolt to our taste? To make something desirable out of adversity brings more satisfaction than breezing through with nary a scratch on our expectations. To know that we are equal to the task is to put a chink in fear's armor. We are worthy and capable of handling all that life can throw at us without having to flinch or sell ourselves short. We are greater than we know and we are more powerful than any script that we could ever write.
Humility grows out of such "lemon" encounters. I know a woman who is a long time breast cancer survivor who has seen many of her friends die from this disease through the years. She told me that her attitude was always one of "why not me?' instead of the usual wail of "why me?" It is a tiny shift, just the addition of one three letter word but that spins the whole meaning and attitude. Why not me to lose my job? Why not you to lose your house? Why not? Are we any more special than someone who has had this misfortune? To expect life to be fair according to our standards is a fool's game. To be really honest with you - I am glad that life has not been as fair with me as I would have demanded. When the self-imposed fog lifted around my carefully planned script and I started to get over myself, it became apparent to me that I had not been as innocent as I would have liked to believe. Thank goodness, life is more benevolent and did not mete out justice as I would have expected. The gift of "lemons" is that they shatter the smooth taste of our lives and give us the opportunity to see life in all its true glory. Personally, I can't think of a sweeter gift.
Recipe from Taste of Home: www.tasteof home.com/Recipes/Lemon-Bars
Recipe
Peter, Paul and Mary
At first puckering taste the fruit of the poor lemon may seem to be impossible to eat just as the unplanned disappointments of life may seem to be impossible to swallow. Add a little sugar and the lemon becomes the spark to enliven not just the refreshing ade but many a dish from soups to main courses like lemon chicken to desserts (I'm thinking lemon bars.*) It's acidity is nutritional, as well as cleansing and flavor enhancing. In addition to its culinary benefits, the lemon is also a good antimicrobial agent. So how did such a useful fruit get such a bad rap and become associated with less than desirable outcomes and defective goods? Perhaps like many of life's experiences because it did not meet initial expectations, it was tossed off as not quite up to snuff. It takes a more in depth understanding of its virtues and a little tweaking to see its gifts.
We write the scripts of our lives continually, envisioning how events need to play out so that we can be happy, successful, healthy, accepted.... And when life hands us a lemon instead of our created script, we pucker up in distaste and reject out of hand the disappointment as a bad thing. So you didn't get that job promotion or raise like you were expecting, the doctor didn't have the news you wanted to hear, your significant other leaves, you lose your house? None of these are pleasant or desired chapters in our ongoing life scripts and certainly not something we would ever put in our life plans. BUT, they offer us something of far greater value than the perceived gap in our carefully planned script. They offer us the chance to grow up and get over ourselves. What a terrible burden to be enslaved by our carefully groomed self-importance day in and day out. It takes tremendous energy to keep it going. "Lemons" give us a chance to cleanse our palates from ourselves and see life from a different perspective than our pre-crafted one. We are very limited in our understanding and vision. "Lemons" bring us up short and make us take stock of where we are and where we think we want to go. They also give us a chance to see what kind of "cooks" we really are. How skilled are we in being able to make the lemon palatable? How creative and nimble are we to be able to detect the nuance of flavor opportunities amid the sharp jolt to our taste? To make something desirable out of adversity brings more satisfaction than breezing through with nary a scratch on our expectations. To know that we are equal to the task is to put a chink in fear's armor. We are worthy and capable of handling all that life can throw at us without having to flinch or sell ourselves short. We are greater than we know and we are more powerful than any script that we could ever write.
Humility grows out of such "lemon" encounters. I know a woman who is a long time breast cancer survivor who has seen many of her friends die from this disease through the years. She told me that her attitude was always one of "why not me?' instead of the usual wail of "why me?" It is a tiny shift, just the addition of one three letter word but that spins the whole meaning and attitude. Why not me to lose my job? Why not you to lose your house? Why not? Are we any more special than someone who has had this misfortune? To expect life to be fair according to our standards is a fool's game. To be really honest with you - I am glad that life has not been as fair with me as I would have demanded. When the self-imposed fog lifted around my carefully planned script and I started to get over myself, it became apparent to me that I had not been as innocent as I would have liked to believe. Thank goodness, life is more benevolent and did not mete out justice as I would have expected. The gift of "lemons" is that they shatter the smooth taste of our lives and give us the opportunity to see life in all its true glory. Personally, I can't think of a sweeter gift.
Recipe from Taste of Home: www.tasteof home.com/Recipes/Lemon-Bars
*Lemon Bars Recipe
This dessert is a delightful recipe from my mother's file. I've been serving it for many years. The bars have a wonderful tangy flavor, and they're always a hit. For variety of color and shape, they're a nice addition to a platter of cookies. —Etta Soucy, Mesa, Arizona
-
Recipe from Taste of Home: www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Lemon-Bars
Prep: 10 min. Bake: 45 min. + cooling
Yield: 9 Servings
55 Ingredients
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/2 cup butter, softened
- 1/4 cup confectioners' sugar
- FILLING:
- 2 eggs
- 1 cup sugar
- 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 2 tablespoons lemon juice
- 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel
- Additional confectioners' sugar
Directions
- In a bowl, combine the flour, butter and confectioners' sugar. Pat into an ungreased 8-in. square baking pan. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes.
- For filling, in a small bowl, beat eggs. Add the sugar, flour, baking powder, lemon juice and peel; beat until frothy. Pour over the crust. Bake 25 minutes longer or until light golden brown. Cool on a wire rack. Dust with confectioners' sugar. Cut into bars. Yield: 9 servings.
Nutritional Facts 1 serving (1 each) equals 263 calories, 11 g fat (7 g saturated fat), 74 mg cholesterol, 140 mg sodium, 38 g carbohydrate, trace fiber, 3 g protein.
Originally published as Lemon Bars in Reminisce May/June 1996, p49
Monday, January 21, 2013
WELCOME
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned in order to have the life that is waiting for us."
Joseph Campbell
If so, then let's explore how we can live a life with no limitations as we move further and further away from the ordinary into the extraordinary. As Janis Joplin warbled, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose...." The way I see it all that is left for me to lose is my self-constructed obstacles that have held me back thus far.
In this blog, I wish to explore unlimited boundaries and much neglected side roads on this journey of life. I invite you to come with me. It is always more fun to have congenial travelling companions to share the joys of the road as well as the pitfalls. So all aboard because ready or not, as my daughter would say when she was three arms akimbo on her scrawny hips -"Botch out!"
In this blog, I wish to explore unlimited boundaries and much neglected side roads on this journey of life. I invite you to come with me. It is always more fun to have congenial travelling companions to share the joys of the road as well as the pitfalls. So all aboard because ready or not, as my daughter would say when she was three arms akimbo on her scrawny hips -"Botch out!"
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