Sunday, February 10, 2013

Can, Can't, Which Is It?

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't -- you're right"
                                Henry Ford


Our thoughts do play a major role in determining how successful we are in attaining our dreams.  But it is more complex than just thinking happy thoughts and wishing and hoping for the best.  As Tony Robbins puts forth in the first video with his RPM (results, purpose and massive action plan,) we need a specific result oriented plan fueled with a strong purpose. Even then, "can't" can be a wiley "lemon" at times proving to be more complex than what appears on the surface. Winter is a good time to do a self-check on all the "can'ts" that lie beneath our surface and clean them out in this dormant stage of the year so that we are ready for the spring sowing of new goals and dreams. If this really is your year to move beyond the ordinary to the extraordinary, here is the game plan.

One way that I have found effective to unearthing my "can'ts" is to pay attention to the "lemons" that have popped up in my path.  When I have put forth effort towards getting a certain result and something else is the outcome, then I know that I have stumbled upon a buried "can't" that will have to be dug out before I will be able to realize the desired result.  If I am not careful, I can at times misperceive the "lemon" as a limitation; and rather than digging out the "can't," I will reinforce my perception that I am unable to achieve what I wanted.  This is especially true when I am growing in a new direction and am uncertain of my footing in this different terrain. 

"Can'ts" are self-constructed emotional limitations that detonate when we get too far out of our estabished comfort zones derailing us from reaching our well planned out goals.  Since we are the creators of these emotional bombs, we can dismantle them once we are aware of them.  This sounds easier to do than it is but with a powerful enough goal and discipline (Robbins RPM,) we can face each of the "can'ts" in our path and move beyond them. 

Some helpful tools in maximizing these "lemons" are first not to take them personally.  If the desired result has resulted in a rejection, don't get hung up on it.  Instead use it as an opportunity to re-evaluate your goal, your approach and your sincerity.  Is this a goal that resonates with your passion or is it just a manufactured "shouldda," "have ta," "need to?"  If our motivation stems from any of those three step-sisters, then we have to step back and seriously consider if we are better off NOT reaching our self-imposed goal.  No sense jumping from the frying pan into the fire.  Exhale and see what other directions are available or how can the set goal be tweaked to better suit our real purpose.

Another powerful "lemon" is an effort that results in criticism.  Again a position of neutrality rather than hurt or defensiveness is far more effective in unearthing what the blockage is.  Determine the motivation of the criticism before taking it to heart.   Does it stem from sincere desire on the other person's part to give you honest feedback, come from a place of wanting to hurt you out of jealousy or is it a lack of vision on the other's part designed to pull you back into the pot with the other crabs in that stiffling "crab psychology" of maintaining the status quo?  Once you are able to see the motivation, you are able to dissect the salient points and put them to good use in moving you closer to your desired results.

Sometimes in our excitement of attaining our goal, we bite off more than we can chew at the moment.  Failure to reach our "mother may I take one giant step" towards success is not a no but merely a caution to slow down and take it "one baby step" at a time.  This is especially true if the goal that we have set for ourselves is a huge change from where we are.  Ben Carson, who tells his amazing life story in, Gifted Hands, writes "Success is determined not by whether or not you face obstacles, but by your reaction to them.  And if you see these obstacles as a containing fence, they become your excuse for failure.  If you look at them as a hurdle, each one strengthens you for the next."  Big goals and changes require major muscle to attain and to live with once you have realized them.  Each of the smaller so called obstacles or "lemons" in the path merely help us to build the necessary muscle to sustain our goal once we get there. 

Never, never think for one second that you do not get results when you put forth effort towards moving in a new direction.  It is an interactive universe - remember the blog on grace - that will always move with us to help us manifest our goal.  Our dreams and goals are too precious not to be seen and heard and REALIZED.  The result at the moment may not be the one that you thought that you were going to get but do not reject it because it is the clue to the next step on the path.  Keep an open mind, allow yourself to be creative in looking at this unexpected response to your goal.  Don't get so stuck in what you are expecting that you fail to see what is manifesting at the moment. 

This is paradigm paralysis when our expectations keep us from seeing the true data that is emerging.  This approach will only slow us down and may possibly cause us to abandon our goal altogether or it can even limit our goal from being all that it can be by not allowing it to grow and expand along the way.  You may not be aware of it but as you work towards your goal, you are being changed.  What started out as being a tailor made result may become two sizes too small as you grow with the effort of attaining it.  So don't limit yourself.  Keep a firm hand and focus on where you are heading but allow some slack in the reins for unexpected changes and adaptations along the way.      

If your present circumstances appear hopeless, this is your year to move from ordinary to extraordinary.  YES YOU CAN!  Remember, we are doing this together.  So if you are sick and tired of being stuck, seek inspiration from the links below.  Go ahead and get fired up with the practical doable advice of Tony Robbins and then see how Athur and the Hoyts changed their lives and became extraordinary in the process. It took incredible courage, will and self-discipline for them to achieve their desired results.  It did not matter because where they were headed was so much better than where they were.  Watch Arthur fall time and again and pick himself up undaunted.  Look at how many people rejected his efforts to walk again and yet somehow something deep within kept him going.  Read the story of the Hoyts and see how two lives were changed as each of them inspired the other to keep going.  And finally if that is not enough to move beyond the looming "can'ts," I offer the following encouragement:

                I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam-I-am.
                        Try them, try them and you may!
                        Try them and you may, I say.....
                        I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you, thank you Sam-I-am
.
                                                    Dr. Seuss, Green Eggs and Ham


Tony Robbins
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7yyhuLd_ZE

 
 
Never, Ever Give Up. Arthur's Inspirational Transformation!
 
 
 

The Hoyt story 

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