“When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.”
George Bernard Shaw
Perhaps it is perverse of me to broach this subject while the scent of Valentine's Day chocolate lingers in the air and the bloom is still on the roses; but then again, I am the hesitant saint and not cupid. Plus all the hearts and lace just beg for the sardonic wit and uber rationalism of Shaw, the man who brought us one of the great love stories between Professor Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle in "Pygmalion." I love that old Irish curmudgeon for his blunt insight into this most sacred of human conditions. We have been marching hard on our way to extraordinary, let's take a break and have a laugh or two at our own expense as we examine the follies of that most vulnerable of all human conditions - romantic love.
At first glance, Shaw may seem an unlikely spokesman on the attributes of love and marriage. Having endured his parents less than idyllic match, he was not one to delve too deeply into relationships himself. He did marry only when he thought that he was dying and this relationship was more a business partnership than a romantic attachment. Still much can be gleaned from his acerbic tongue and jaundiced eye. I bet you were wondering how I was going to work lemons into this blog. Well after all of the cloying sweetness of Valentine's Day, a good palate cleansing will be refreshing. So, I say bring on the lemons. There is much wisdom to be had in his quotes. I offer the following for your enjoyment. Whether you are new to this game of love or an old timer, married, dating or hopeful; whether your expectations were met or your hopes dashed or whether you could care less, Shaw's wit and total lack of concern for convention will provide a chuckle or two and a few truths to tuck into your pocket for later mulling.
"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the windows shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open." Let the negotiations begin. And you thought that corporate mergers were tough.
"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience."
"Those who talk most about the blessings of marriage and the constancy of its vows are the very people who declare that if the chains were broken and the prisoner left free to choose, the whole social fabric would fly asunder. You cannot have the argument both ways. If the prisoner is happy, why lock him in? If he is not, why pretend that he is?"
"A love affair should always be a honeymoon, and the only way to make sure of that is to keep changing the man, for the same man could never keep it up."
"Women upset everything. When you let them into you life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another."
"A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth."
"A woman chooses a man who needs her the most over who loves her the most."
"There are only two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."
As Bugs Bunny would say - "That's all folks!"
I leave you with one last thought....Shaw the curmudgeon did leave us seekers with a clue to a fulfilling relationship. He called his play "Pygmalion."* The pygmalion effect is when great expectations are placed on someone, they tend to perform better. By internalizing positive images of themselves, it results in a self-fulfilling prophecy, like Eliza Doolittle. In whatever relationship we find ourselves, this is good advice. As we see our partners in a positive nurturing light, we enable them to see themselves that way as well. Shaw, "I know of only one duty and that is to love." With that as my parting thought, I guess today was not a total vacation from our journey to extraordinary.
VIVE L'AMOUR!
* "My Fair Lady" is the Broadway musical version
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